Time of the month ..

Yep we there again ,its that time when we think of FAV piccys lol , and heres a few to titillate ,so enjoy,

enjoy..MK

To be or not to b.

Well..

Seeking a Taken In Hand relationship?

Please read the following carefully if you are seeking a Taken In Hand relationship.
If you wish to indicate that you want to find someone with whom to develop a relationship leading to a sexually exclusive, fully committed permanent marriage in which the husband actively controls the wife and does not allow the wife to get the upper hand (though he might well enjoy doing what it takes to keep her firmly in hand!), email us the following two articles: (1) a substantial article (at least 1000 words) about what you want in a Taken In Hand marriage; (2) a substantial Taken In Hand article (at least 1000 words) for the front page of this site.
This second article should NOT be soliciting a relationship in any way. Instead, it should be an article that could remain up on the site permanently, long after you are happily married. If you need some ideas for possible subjects about which to write, read this page and take the tour. See also the FAQ. The reason we are now asking for an additional article is that the moment we reopened this section we were immediately overwhelmed with submissions and we are currently behind in putting them up, and in fact we are getting more submissions for this section than for the site as a whole. Asking you to write not just an introduction to find a spouse but also a significant article for the site more generally should at least correct this imbalance.
If your preference is for a more casual relationship, or a non-exclusive relationship, or a relationship in which the husband does not actively control the wife, please post a personal ad on a more suitable site than this.

Predatory men tell women what they want to hear, and men know what you are looking for if they find you here or if they have an introduction posted here, so please, please, please take care to get to know a person extremely well before you get too excited. Meet the person's friends and family and introduce him to your friends and family – be sure you have good solid evidence that you are not being played (or worse) – before you spend any time alone with someone. (Good people will not complain that you don't trust them, they will think you very wise to be cautious.) Don't spend 6 months bonding through email and telephone, only to discover that the man is married or a serial rapist internet player aged 35 years your senior. If you want a Taken In Hand marriage, you will probably want to avoid being seduced by pickup artists (read The Game, by Neil Strauss): they are looking to improve their level of self-confidence and self-esteem through seduction and sex, they are not looking for marriage. Take things a lot slower than your hormones may be telling you to take them. Read Kosher Sex, by Shmuley Boteach and Getting to "I Do", by Pat Allen and Sandra Harmon.
Talk to your friends and family about anyone you are in contact with or dating, and be sure that no one who cares about you thinks that the object of your desire is dishonest or otherwise a bad person. See also this article.
Please be careful. It is much better to meet people in real life through shared interests and in-person chemistry than it is to meet them through a site like this. So much can go wrong in meeting through personals sites on the internet. I would avoid it like the plague, myself. But if you are determined to post here despite this, email us your article that in no way sounds like a personal ad, and that is at least 1000 words, and your second article (see above). Use webmastertakeninhand.com. (You will need to add back the sign if you copy and paste.) Be sure to check your spelling before you email us your article, and be sure that your article is interesting enough that Taken In Hand readers will find it interesting even if they are not themselves looking for a relationship.
Be warned that only a small percentage of submissions for this personal ads section of the site are posted. Anything sounding like a personal ad will be deleted immediately. You can always post such material on match.com or wherever. Any piece that does not have the ring of truth will be deleted. Anything that would be suitable for a BDSM or spanking site will be immediately deleted. Your article must be from a Taken In Hand perspective. Paint a word picture of what you want in a relationship and in life in general. Talk about what matters to you.
Do not expect to get a reply or an explanation of why your article has not been posted. If you are absolutely sure that your article was perfectly in accord with Taken In Hand ideas, and it has not appeared, send it to us ONE more time. Do not keep sending it. If you do not receive a bounce message, it probably did arrive. Be sure that you sent it to webmastertakeninhand.com. Check that you added back the sign if you copied and pasted the address.
Here follows the current list of individuals who say they are seeking a Taken In Hand relationship. If any email address fails, please let us know.

Is or is not.

Hmmmmm.

Domestic discipline (DD)

Tevemer mentioned that she thinks that there is no difference between Taken In Hand and domestic discipline (DD) and that I disagree. Louise said that she thinks that the only difference is that a Taken In Hand relationship need not necessarily involve domestic discipline. So I thought I should explain what I see as the differences. (Criticisms welcome.)
First, let me stress that of all the different types of forums I have found so far apart from Taken In Hand, I feel most in tune with DD (domestic discipline) ones, such as 1domesticdiscipline. Indeed, many writers and posters post on that and other DD lists frequently.
I really like the thoughtfulness of the DD community, its focus on deeply-intimate long-term relationships rather than casual sex, and the fact that it is about improving relationships rather than sex per se. I share with most DD folk a preference for real control over role playing (though playing can be fun); and I also am with people in the domestic discipline community in seeing no need for safewords in the general course of life – my life, anyway.
Finally, I also like the fact that there is very little talk on most domestic discipline (DD) forums about service-orientated submission, ‘becoming a better submissive’ or ‘slave training’. Like many DD people, I do not consider myself BDSM. (Not that I have anything against these things – to each his own.) I like the fact that men in the DD community seem to take in their stride or even enjoy (rather than get angry or upset about) a little resistance now and again.
My quibbles with domestic discipline are just that – quibbles rather than anything more damning. There is a lot of common ground between Taken In Hand and the domestic discipline (DD) community. I happen to know that many who consider themselves DD agree with me but still consider themselves DD. So please keep all this in mind when you read the following comments.
My problem with domestic discipline (DD) is partly a matter of finding some statements or definitions of it embarrassingly deluded and logically and philosophically unsound, but it is mainly a matter of having a slightly different focus from that of the domestic discipline (DD) community.
To take the second bit first, the focus of Taken In Hand is on the idea of living under the control of a man – not because men are superior, or biology or the Bible dictates it, but just because it is our (Taken In Hand folks') preference. And the more in control the man is, the better, as far as I am concerned. It is erotic. It feels right. (If anyone jumps to the conclusion that I am saying that other preferences are wrong, I will feel like using intemperate language in exasperation at their wilful misunderstanding!)
The focus of the domestic discipline (DD) community is slightly different. The discussions on DD forums tend to be tightly focused on ‘discipline’, lists of rules and infractions, ‘accountability’, ‘boundaries, limits and guidelines’, ‘misbehaviour’, ‘consistency’, and punishment, and how all this allegedly helps women's behaviour improve.
Except that it doesn't. Or at least, there seems to be a rather worrying tendency for many women writing to become ever more ‘naughty’ and childish, getting ever more ‘discipline’, and it looks to me as though this whole thing could be destructive unless the woman happens to be with a man who is also aroused by the idea of having a recalcitrant child for a wife. I fear that some men might get thoroughly sick of that. Here is an example of the sort of post that troubles me. I could be mistaken, but to me, this woman sounds like a ‘naughty child’ talking about being in trouble with a parent:

I was already a little nervous that lost my husband's debit card because I did not put it in my wallet like I know I am supposed to do and he has told me to many times before. By the time we called it in missing somebody had already spent $75 on it. I knew I was in big trouble then. When I got home he wouldn't even talk to me cus he was so mad at me.

For those who like this kind of thing, great! But if so then I think it is a mistake to try to claim that what they are doing is really about behaviour modification. It clearly isn't. It is how they connect erotically, that's all. There is nothing wrong with that; I just find the ostensible explanations people give for what they are doing transparently false.
There seems to be quite a lot of self-delusion in the domestic discipline community. As argued in these articles and these articles, the idea that domestic discipline of women is just like parents spanking their children is patently false.
Children do not crave punishment, they hate it. You have only to look at any forum in the domestic discipline community to see that it is usually the woman who is positively craving and begging for a man's authority and ‘discipline’. The idea that the woman hates ‘domestic discipline’ like a child hates being spanked is laughable. If you want to know what it means to hate being beaten, go to a battered women's refuge and talk to a battered wife who has escaped her abuser. Her state of mind bears no resemblance to the state of mind of a woman who is wholeheartedly choosing to be in a relationship in which the man is in control and expresses it physically sometimes. She wants this relationship, and she wants the ‘discipline’, painful and even scary though it may be at the time. She would not want to be with a man who would not do that. The battered wife would love her husband not to do that. Many in the DD community are in denial about this, in my opinion.
I personally do not have a discipline fetish and am about as interested in spanking as I am in knitting, and I do not fantasise about writing lines, being made to stand in the corner, ‘loss of computer privileges’ or other infantalising ‘punishments’. So for me personally, the focus of DD forums on ‘discipline’ and punishment and spanking is a bit off. The only respect in which I have any interest in spanking is if it is the way a man is expressing his control, as in this article. Otherwise I find the whole idea altogether boring. I am not a spanko.
Nor am I a woman who needs discipline, ‘domestic’ or otherwise. I am a fully-functioning, competent, able adult whose parents were sticklers for formal etiquette. I know how behave impeccably, and I don't need a good thrashing to ‘teach me the errors of my ways’, any more than any man does (and quite possibly a good deal less!). I cannot remotely identify with the idea that women are out-of-control childish creatures in need of a firm hand, while men are paragons of self-control and all other virtues in the known universe and quite possibly a few more besides. We are all human beings; we all make mistakes; and I don't think it is helpful to pedastalise men in this way.
The idea that being taken in hand is about women being inferior to men, or being faulty, out of control, over-emotional, irrational and in need of ‘help’ which men are somehow not in need of just doesn't add up. I am not those things but still I have a strong desire to be under the authority of a man. It is not that Taken In Hand women need ‘help’, it is that we have a deep desire to be under a man's control.
Men are fallible human beings too, and they make mistakes just as women do. So when I read writing on domestic discipline forums that seems to imply that the man should be in control because he is better than the woman or knows more, I cannot associate myself with the idea of domestic discipline.
In addition, the idea that “might makes right” is a huge mistake, philosophically. Being bigger and stronger does not mean you know more. It does not mean that you are more likely to be right than someone less strong, it just means that you have the edge in terms of physical control. Might does not make right, it is just more fun!
The idea that knowledge can be imparted through the buttocks is, er, entertaining, perhaps, but it is a veritable can of worms epistemologically (that is to say, in terms of the philosophy of knowledge). Behaviourist conditioning can work for animals but human beings are much more complex mentally – we have minds and think, and knowledge is gained through thought, not the buttocks. (This is not to say that a good thrashing has zero effect, merely that its effects are not the simple, direct, behaviourist conditioning effects many DD folk think they are. See this article for some of my thoughts on that subject.)
For me, a man being in control is nothing to do with the tiresome-sounding task of improving a faulty woman, it is about creating a vibrant, thrilling, deeply fulfilling relationship which remains sexually fulfilling and never descends into the stale platonic buddy type relationship that is so common in society at large. For me, being under a man's authority is about retaining our awareness of one another as being different from each other. It is about being aware of myself as a woman, and being aware of the man as being a man rather than sexless/unisex. It is about being true to myself as a woman with a desire to be with a man who needs to be in control in an intimate relationship, it has little or nothing to do with needing ‘help’ or ‘discipline’.
It is worth noting, though, that the husbands in DD relationships do appear to be loving, caring and focused on their wives rather than being the self-serving narcissists appearing to inhabit the D/s world – at least, if their respective posts and forums are anything to go by. DD may glorify ‘misbehaviour’ on the part of women (groan), but (unlike much of the D/s community) it does not glorify self-serving narcissism on the part of men. I like the fact that Taken In Hand encourages both husbands and wives to be kind and considerate to one another, and to take responsibility for their own actions.
Another problem I personally have with domestic discipline is that the heavy focus of DD forums on ‘discipline’ is at the expense of all other forms of expressing control. I personally would like to see a more general focus on the idea of the man's authority and control instead of on punishment and in particular, spanking. When spanking is the focus, people seem to lose sight of more subtle forms of control, and indeed, more extreme forms of control.
Some readers reacted very badly when I posted my When rape is a gift article, objecting to the fact that (as they saw it) I was going off-topic. (?!?) The same thing happened to a lesser extent when I posted my The alpha male and masculine power article. Similarly, when DeeMarie wrote about Asserting dominance physically forcefully, there were complaints from DD people and others that her article was discussing something other than spanking. And whenever anyone posts about the allure of feeling fear or trepidation in connection with a man, or about anything remotely ‘extreme’, or the idea of ownership, possession, obedience, or even about the kind of submission described in books like Fascinating Womanhood) DD people complain. There is such a narrowness in the domestic discipline community!
A woman once told me that the reason she no longer posts on DD lists is because she found that when she was reading DD material, her own focus narrowed and she did not like that. I have noticed the same thing. That is why I do not read much domestic discipline stuff myself any more.
Having said all that though, I strongly disagree with criticisms I have read of domestic discipline saying that it is abusive, non-consensual, unloving, irresponsible and the like. It seems to me a genuine and very successful attempt to create ways of being in long-term relationships that are fulfilling and exciting. Moreover, my misgivings above notwithstanding, I think it is true that domestic discipline can (for those for whom it has appeal) solve problems and bring peace and harmony to many relationships, for the reasons I gave here. It is a fact that for those who like it (and even for me!) being physically taken in hand by the man one loves can be cathartic and soothing, it can make one feel submissive, and it can be very connecting.
the boss
Taken In Hand Tour start | next

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Have you seen the following articles?
Leadership, strength, emotional intimacy
Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?
The importance of conquest
Asserting dominance physically forcefully
Violence in the garden
Is Taken In Hand about discipline?
The dance of consent
Saying things for effect
The paradox of the strong and submissive woman
Give me intensity or give me death!

Sat, 18/12/2004 - 18:59

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Comments

#1 This is a terrific article

good or knot..

“Good girl.”
I don’t think there’s anything that captures my mixed feelings about submission like that phrase. There’s so much in there. 
Until very recently, it was one of my least favorite things to hear. So condescending. Patronizing. Paternalistic. I’ve been called “good girl” a few times in my adult life by men who had no place calling me that and it never failed to make me bristle. I even remember hating it as a child.
And then there’s the phrase itself. “Good girl.” I’ve always been a bit too much of a Good Girl for my own tastes. Even when I tried to be a bad girl, hanging out with the potheads, getting myself arrested at a protest, I’ve usually been good. I’ve always been the one with Good Judgment. My best friends now, incidentally, are either like me – the good girls who hung out with the bad kids – or are reformed bad girls. The latter assure me that I didn’t miss out, but I listen to their stories and, frankly, I’m not so sure.
Because what feminist wants to be a Good Girl? After all, every feminist knows that Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History. And then there’s the whole madonna-whore complex thing, which will certainly be a subject of its own post at some point.
Oh, and of course, there’s the fact that it’s “good girl.” I know it’s pretty commonplace to refer to grown women as girls, and I do it all the time. But there’s no denying that it adds to the patronizing tone.
So that’s why I don’t like “good girl.” Or rather, why I don’t want to like “good girl.” Because, honestly? I fucking love it. It makes my pussy wet and my heart sing. The first time a dominant partner called me a “good girl,” I felt like I had just taken a shot of morphine. And I wanted more.
You might argue that my positive reaction is a purely visceral one that bypasses all rational thought. But part of me also thinks that the reasons I dislike it are partly the reasons I like it, too. It is paternalistic and condescending. It puts my partner in the position to decide whether or not I’m good, and that’s a powerful position. Dominant.
And then there’s the very fact that I like it so much, which is a little, well, humiliating. And that just adds an extra frission of erotic stimulation and emotional intensity. As maymay said once, ”I don’t want to be tortured, but I want it.” Obviously, being called a “good girl” is not exactly torture, but I think maymay perfectly captures that paradox of being submissive for me – of wanting the things I don’t want. I want them both in spite of and because of the fact that I don’t want them.
So I do have conflicted feelings and thoughts about this phrase, and they mirror my conflicted thoughts about submission.
But here’s the most embarrassing confession: right now, at this moment, there’s little I want more than to be someone’s Good Girl.

Smoothieee drink lol well its summer

Dont give to the vicar...

high protein smoothie

Unlike other high protein drinks this one doesn't not use animal proteins such as eggs or whey for nutrition

1 cup diced kiwi
1 ripe banana
1 cup of soy milk
1-3 tablespoons of fresh semen
Ice cubes

Throw every thing into a blender and liquefy.

Chef's Note: This is a great to experiment with.
Try substituting peaches or strawberries for the kiwi.

enjoy..